Although your presence has significantly heightened our pain, you have brought out the best in others.
I shared previously that I have found an online community of fellow parents who have lost a baby. I’ve connected with these parents on Instagram and Facebook. These individuals openly grieve, share their love for their children, and have hearts that bleed like mine. Their sense of community is a treasure trove of support. It’s through this support that I’ve built a lot of new friendships. I only know most of these women through social media, but we are all invested in each others’ lives and how one another is doing. Continue reading “Dear December – Part Two”
I have been dreading you. But you are here. You’ve been here for a few days now and Andy and I are tentatively learning how to navigate your waters of frigid and harsh grief. We don’t want to be swimming in these waters. We never asked to be here. And yet, we are. And we are trying to figure out how to swim against your forceful current. I know it’s not entirely your fault, but I associate you with Christmas.
Never in a thousand years did we think we would find ourselves in these shoes; figuring out how to live through Christmas after the loss of our child. No one thinks this can happen to them. Until it does. I never thought I would be silently and passively protesting Christmas. It is hard to simply just exist when the season is one that is overwhelmingly full of joy and good cheer.
What a busy week. Christmas is fast approaching and we’ve hardly had time to slow down since Thanksgiving. We have a large family to buy for and we’re normally done with Christmas shopping by now. We’re behind our game this year. I just haven’t been in the Christmas spirit. But luckily you can buy anything online. Continue reading “Feeling Connected”
We got through Thanksgiving this year. Another first on a whole list of firsts marked off for us. To anyone who saw us yesterday, we looked OK, right? And we were OK. We enjoyed seeing our family and eating good food.
But we also desperately wished that our son was with us. What I didn’t tell anyone was that the night before, on Thanksgiving Eve, I had an emotional breakdown.
In this season of giving and thanks, we have done a lot of reflection on the importance of giving. Whether it is giving your time, your energy, your money, resources, or your presence to others. Or whether it is giving to family, friends, co-workers, a stranger, an organization, or even giving a new home to a rescue pet.
This weekend I have been busy working on the Angel Tree and it has been a very healing process. As I headed into the weekend, I had a list of things to get started on. I first had to find an angel tree topper. Check. Then buy crafts and supplies. Check and check.
I also was on the lookout for various items that reminded the moms of their children (e.g., bear, butterfly, angel, feathers, stars, hearts). I ended up finding a lot of these items that fit the bill perfectly. I was happy to find these because it will make these ornaments that much more special to my angel mamas. Another check. Continue reading “The Making of A Tree”
Hello. Thanks for reading our story. This blog is in honor of our baby boy, Jensen James.
We never expected to create a blog, let alone a blog about our baby who was taken far too soon. But, I have come to learn that life is full of the unexpected.
Our son Jensen was born on August 5th, 2016 and died 43 hours later. My pregnancy leading up to his birth was full of unexpected news, unexpected worries and an unexpected turn of events. The life that we are living now is an unexpected outcome, which has led to an unexpected beginning. Continue reading “The Unexpected Beginning”